The cycle of violence


Violence within intimate relationships is a pervasive issue that casts a shadow over countless lives globally. One key aspect shedding light on this dark reality is the “cycle of violence.” 

The cycle of violence is a known thing that happens in abusive relationships, and it repeats in a way that needs us to pay attention to. It is important to understand and notice this cycle, not just as something we think about but as a really important step in dealing with the complicated dynamics in abusive relationships. 

Taking a closer look at the details of this cycle is crucial for people who want to help break the patterns of violence that keep victims stuck in these tough situations.

Ciklus nastanka nasilja
  1. Tension – Building Phase:

Picture the beginning of the cycle of violence as entering the “Tension-Building Phase,” a stage akin to the gathering of storm clouds before a tempest. In this initial part of the cycle, tensions slowly intensify, much like a pot simmering before it boils over. Small conflicts and stressors accumulate, creating an atmosphere filled with a noticeable sense of nervousness and unease. It is as if everyone involved is treading carefully, trying to navigate through a minefield of potential problems. This phase can be likened to a time when emotions are stretched thin, and the anticipation of an impending event hangs in the air. The feeling is akin to walking on eggshells, where individuals may sense that something is about to happen, but the uncertainty of when and how it will manifest adds to the heightened anxiety.

To simplify, think of it as the quiet before a storm, where the atmosphere becomes charged with an underlying tension. It is during this period that the groundwork for potential violence is laid. Recognizing the signs and understanding the dynamics of this tension-building phase becomes crucial. It is like being able to read the warning signs of an approaching storm, allowing individuals to better navigate through this challenging part of an abusive relationship and seek support before the storm fully hits.


  1. Incident or Severe Violence:

As we progress further into the cycle of violence, we encounter what is known as the “Incident or Acute Violence” phase. This marks the moment when tensions reach a critical point, and a more intense and harmful event unfolds. It is similar to the storm breaking loose after a period of escalating pressure.

During this phase, the abusive behavior takes a prominent role, and the impact becomes more severe. This could manifest as physical violence, emotional abuse, or sexual harm. The individual causing harm exercises control through various means, including intimidation, aggression, or manipulation. This phase is a distressing manifestation of power dynamics within the relationship, where one person asserts dominance over the other.

In simpler terms, it is the part of the cycle where the situation gets tough. It is when the storm hits, and the atmosphere changes dramatically. This phase is crucial to understand because it represents the core of the harmful actions within an abusive relationship. Recognizing and addressing this acute violence is essential for supporting individuals in breaking free from the cycle and seeking help to ensure their safety and well-being. Understanding this phase is a key step in promoting awareness and intervention to break the cycle of violence.


  1. Reconciliation or Calm Phase:

Proceeding through the cycle of violence, we arrive at the “Reconciliation or Calm Phase.” This phase occurs after the intense incident of violence and may seem paradoxically peaceful. It is comparable to the calm that follows a storm, offering a temporary respite from the turbulence.

During this period, the person who caused harm may express remorse, extend apologies, and make promises of change. Affectionate gestures, gifts, and declarations of love might be part of this phase, creating a sense of normalcy and hope for the victim. It is crucial to note that, however brief, this calm phase does not signify a resolution to the underlying issues; rather, it serves as a temporary break from the tumultuous events.

To simplify, envision it as a quiet interlude after a storm. It is a time when things seem peaceful on the surface, and there might be efforts to mend the relationship. This phase is significant to understand because, despite its apparent tranquillity, it doesn’t address the root causes of the violence. Recognizing and comprehending this calm phase is vital in the overall understanding of the cycle of violence and plays a role in supporting individuals seeking to break free from its patterns.


  1. Repeat of the Cycle:

Following the brief period of calm in the reconciliation phase, the cycle of violence unfortunately often takes a disheartening turn as it enters the “Repeat of the Cycle.” If an abuser does an act of violence once, it will happen again. This is a critical stage where the sequence begins anew, with tension gradually building once again, setting the stage for another potential outburst of violence.

In simpler terms, it is like a recurring pattern or a cycle that loops back to the beginning. The temporary peace of the reconciliation phase is overshadowed by the re-emergence of mounting tension and the impending threat of another incident of violence. This repetition can feel like being caught in a distressing loop, where the hope sparked during the calm phase is once again replaced by a sense of anxiety and unease.

Understanding this repetitive nature is key to comprehending the challenges faced by individuals in abusive relationships. Breaking free from the cycle requires a combination of awareness, support, and intervention. Recognizing the signs of the repeating cycle empowers individuals to seek help, fostering the possibility of breaking free from the harmful patterns and working towards a safer and healthier future.


In conclusion, understanding the cycle of violence is not merely an academic exercise but a crucial step toward liberation. By raising awareness, providing support, and cultivating a society that stands against all forms of abuse, we can collaboratively strive to create a safer, more compassionate world for everyone. Breaking free from the cycle empowers survivors and contributes to the broader movement toward eradicating violence against women.

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